Just an update

So I know I may not have the best type of relationship right now, but personally I love it. I would have to be in a relationship where I couldn’t disagree and be weird with someone. I don’t understand why people want a simple easy going relationship. Tats just how I am I like to get down and crazy and have little here and there fights. I just look at it as us going through a hard ship only makes us stronger. When other people hit their hardship thinking that everything will always stay perfect they will be in for a big surprise. Sometimes people don’t want to stick it through and work things out with someone they love, but I say if you really love that person you will do anything and work through anything with that person. If not you must have not loved that person like you said you did.

thanksgiving and life

Well hmm At this point in my life I can say that things are looking up for the better. I’m working certain things out and its looking good. I gotta understand that people make mistakes and theres not one person out there thats gonna be perfect for any one person. You have to get through obstacles and work through issues. I’m still young, but I’m in love and I think working out my issues is what will work in the end. Honestly I say if he’s extremely perfect and hasn’t done anything wrong and yall dont argue…it’s too good to be true and he’s probably hiding something. I’m just saying I have a plan for my life and I know where I want to go and with who and he knows what he wants and that’s me and thats all that matters because ain’t no body else in our relationship except us 🙂 with that said happy Thanksgiving every one and happy holidays!

~Angel~

What is love???

What is love?

In my eyes, love is…

When your partner notices EVERY little aspect of you and what you have changed.

When they notice that the flaws about you are actually perks,

When they can tell you that they love you and actually mean it.

When they can look at another person that may be attractive, but the first thing they think is “that girl/guy is cute, but my woman/man is phenomenal!”

When they can feel that something is wrong with you just by the tone of your voice when you speak (even if you are trying to hide it).

When they do random things to show you how important you are in their lives and that you will always be loved.

When you can argue.. and in the next few minutes, realize that no matter what, you love that person and this argument was not worth the time or breath that it was spent on.

When someone can say your partner’s name and you can’t do anything but constantly smile because you are THAT happy inside.

When you can get irritated with each other and still say “Hey, I’d rather deal with him/her thinking he/she knows everything than him/her beating my a**!” lol.

When a random person can look at you and can really tell that you are truly happy (because when your not, it is definitely noticeable).

When you can both sit down and watch football, play video games, watch Lifetime, and go shopping with each other and enjoy it even if that is what the other partner likes to do more.

When you can tell what your partner is trying to say even before they say it. (Even knowing what they are thinking before they think it would be pretty cool as well.)

When that moment you even try to lie to your partner, you just blurt out the truth.

When your partner makes you feel like they are there with you in your sleep, even if your sleeping alone.

When your partner makes sure you go to sleep and wake up with a smile on your face. (most times..it’s probably because they messed up last night and wanna make sure you’re still not mad at them when you wake up.lol)

When you can agree to disagree on certain situations.

When you  can still remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place every time you see them.

When you can have more positive memories than negative memories.

When you never run out of anything to talk about.

When your partner finds you attractive even if you did gain or lose some weight, get a hair cut/dye, or try something new.

When all you have in the back of your mind while in an argument is, “Let me not say anything that I would regret in the future; because my love for him/her is bigger than this argument.”

When you can TRUST that they will be there to catch you when you fall, never let you go, be honest with you, and love you until the end of time.

When they can express to you how much they appreciate you…even if they hate talking about feelings.lol

When they…..

When you…..

Look, I can go on FOREVER about what I think love is.

I know what it is for me and I know that in previous relationships..I THOUGHT that’s what I had; but if I did, those relationships wouldn’t have ended right?

I honestly, would prefer to be alone and waiting for this to happen to me, than to be where I was before and lost in a relationship because I honestly didn’t know what love was…and although I thought I was in love; that was not TRUE LOVE!

I will wait for it to happen to me, and God wants me to know what it feels like to be lonely for a little longer, then so be it! But I have learned my lesson from previous experiences and anyone who judges me off of how picky I am, or what I do or do not do…so be it. They aren’t gonna find me love…God is!

I just learned a lot of what love ISN’T and now….

I know what love IS! ….

and it’s definitely worth the wait. (besides, it gives me time to work on myself…God knows that it isn’t the right time for me :-))

~Teaira~ 

hiding true feeelings

I’m done doing what people expect of me. Its time to live my life the way I want to. Do what I feel is right. Just recently I feel like I’m holding back what I really want to do because I know I will get judged for my decisions. Well I can’t live like that any more. I’m not beating around the bush or letting anyone make me feel like I’m doing something wrong. I;m never talking about my problems to people again. I can’t take the judging and the shoulda coulda woulda because It just doesn’t help my cause. I’m done being worried about what anyone thinks of me or what I do.

~angel~

Making a final decision

So… After what has happened with me and my ex boyfriend, sooner or later I’m going to have to come to a decision to stay or leave. At this point I dont know what I want to do with him. my heart is telling me to stay and my mind tells me to leave. I have a feeling I’m going to end up staying with him. Everyone makes mistakes. This just happened to result in some other things to come along. Yes it’s going to be hard, but what relationship doesn’t have its issues? I don’t want to leave him and I love him, but I think he does need a little bit or reality bopped into him and I big wake up call to know that I can’t be taken for granted and I think he’s understanding that now.

mixed feelings

Do you guys think it’s wrong to like someone you’re not necessarily suppose to like? Is it bad to try and get that person to like you as well? I try not to think about it much, but maybe this is what got me into the predicament I’m in now. Always falling so quick for someone without fully knowing them well for a long period of time. It just sucks that the “good” ones are always occupied and I get stuck with the devils in sheep’s clothing. It never fails. I always stop and wonder if I’m doing something wrong? Or maybe I wasn’t meant to have a relationship then. I don’t even want to try anymore because it always gets worse each time. Should I give up on love? Should I give up on relationships period? I hate being single. Even when I’m single I always have a person i’m interested in. This guy though… I don’t know I feel like I just always have a good time with him and he’s such a gentlemen. He acts very mature and just seems so…right. I don’t know. Or it could be me trying to fill a void for myself. I just hate being single and it’s so hard and complicated. I’m too young for this.

~Angel~

My Thank you to you

Here’s my thank you for showing me what I don’t need

Thank you for letting me understand that without you, yes! I can still breath!

Thank you for the hurt and the pain and the lies

Thank you, because now I know I gave too many tries

Thank you for not caring and not expressing one word

even though all of your unsaid emotions did not go left unheard

Thank you for telling me that you wouldn’t think twice if we weren’t together

I guess I know now that we weren’t meant for forever.

 

~Angel~

It’s show time

It’s almost time for the dance team to perform. I find it kind of funny that they can not find not one exec. board member to be in charge of the booth. I have to do it and someone else. hhmm I wonder who that someone else will be. I wonder. This president needs to get taken down. I’ve already made my choice to leave if nothing is going to be changed and I stand firmly with that decision, All I want is to make sure we look good up there. I love dancing and I love to perform and have a crowd cheering for me and my fellow team mates. Its such a good feeling and I ready. Lets do this!!

~angel~

The real connection

I think It’s time that I connect with myself. All of these years I’ve always had a boyfriend. I honestly can not remember the last time I was single and that’s sad considering the fact that I’m only 21 years of age. I am getting into my prime years. My important years with more to come.I just realized that I have to step away from loving some one else right now and focus on loving myself. I don’t even know where to start but I need to figure it out and fast. This may just be an experience of a life time. From now on I will do what I want and say what I mean and try not to hold back just for the sake of some one else. Sorry, but right now I just have to be selfish.

 

~Angel~

Love of my life!

At the end of the day I love my boyfriend. He may seem like he has a cold heart at times and seem like he doesn’t care about me, but I am the only person that truly know show he treats me and that’s all that matters. No disrespect to my friends, but this relationship is between me and my boyfriend. It doesn’t mean I won’t listen to their advice, but at the end of the day I have to trust my gut and my true feelings about MY relationship. It only gets better from where we started and I like where we’re at now.

 

~angel~