Just an update

So I know I may not have the best type of relationship right now, but personally I love it. I would have to be in a relationship where I couldn’t disagree and be weird with someone. I don’t understand why people want a simple easy going relationship. Tats just how I am I like to get down and crazy and have little here and there fights. I just look at it as us going through a hard ship only makes us stronger. When other people hit their hardship thinking that everything will always stay perfect they will be in for a big surprise. Sometimes people don’t want to stick it through and work things out with someone they love, but I say if you really love that person you will do anything and work through anything with that person. If not you must have not loved that person like you said you did.

thanksgiving and life

Well hmm At this point in my life I can say that things are looking up for the better. I’m working certain things out and its looking good. I gotta understand that people make mistakes and theres not one person out there thats gonna be perfect for any one person. You have to get through obstacles and work through issues. I’m still young, but I’m in love and I think working out my issues is what will work in the end. Honestly I say if he’s extremely perfect and hasn’t done anything wrong and yall dont argue…it’s too good to be true and he’s probably hiding something. I’m just saying I have a plan for my life and I know where I want to go and with who and he knows what he wants and that’s me and thats all that matters because ain’t no body else in our relationship except us 🙂 with that said happy Thanksgiving every one and happy holidays!


My nails for the week!



What is love???

What is love?

In my eyes, love is…

When your partner notices EVERY little aspect of you and what you have changed.

When they notice that the flaws about you are actually perks,

When they can tell you that they love you and actually mean it.

When they can look at another person that may be attractive, but the first thing they think is “that girl/guy is cute, but my woman/man is phenomenal!”

When they can feel that something is wrong with you just by the tone of your voice when you speak (even if you are trying to hide it).

When they do random things to show you how important you are in their lives and that you will always be loved.

When you can argue.. and in the next few minutes, realize that no matter what, you love that person and this argument was not worth the time or breath that it was spent on.

When someone can say your partner’s name and you can’t do anything but constantly smile because you are THAT happy inside.

When you can get irritated with each other and still say “Hey, I’d rather deal with him/her thinking he/she knows everything than him/her beating my a**!” lol.

When a random person can look at you and can really tell that you are truly happy (because when your not, it is definitely noticeable).

When you can both sit down and watch football, play video games, watch Lifetime, and go shopping with each other and enjoy it even if that is what the other partner likes to do more.

When you can tell what your partner is trying to say even before they say it. (Even knowing what they are thinking before they think it would be pretty cool as well.)

When that moment you even try to lie to your partner, you just blurt out the truth.

When your partner makes you feel like they are there with you in your sleep, even if your sleeping alone.

When your partner makes sure you go to sleep and wake up with a smile on your face. (most times..it’s probably because they messed up last night and wanna make sure you’re still not mad at them when you wake up.lol)

When you can agree to disagree on certain situations.

When you  can still remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place every time you see them.

When you can have more positive memories than negative memories.

When you never run out of anything to talk about.

When your partner finds you attractive even if you did gain or lose some weight, get a hair cut/dye, or try something new.

When all you have in the back of your mind while in an argument is, “Let me not say anything that I would regret in the future; because my love for him/her is bigger than this argument.”

When you can TRUST that they will be there to catch you when you fall, never let you go, be honest with you, and love you until the end of time.

When they can express to you how much they appreciate you…even if they hate talking about feelings.lol

When they…..

When you…..

Look, I can go on FOREVER about what I think love is.

I know what it is for me and I know that in previous relationships..I THOUGHT that’s what I had; but if I did, those relationships wouldn’t have ended right?

I honestly, would prefer to be alone and waiting for this to happen to me, than to be where I was before and lost in a relationship because I honestly didn’t know what love was…and although I thought I was in love; that was not TRUE LOVE!

I will wait for it to happen to me, and God wants me to know what it feels like to be lonely for a little longer, then so be it! But I have learned my lesson from previous experiences and anyone who judges me off of how picky I am, or what I do or do not do…so be it. They aren’t gonna find me love…God is!

I just learned a lot of what love ISN’T and now….

know what love IS! ….

and it’s definitely worth the wait. (besides, it gives me time to work on myself…God knows that it isn’t the right time for me :-))



hiding true feeelings

I’m done doing what people expect of me. Its time to live my life the way I want to. Do what I feel is right. Just recently I feel like I’m holding back what I really want to do because I know I will get judged for my decisions. Well I can’t live like that any more. I’m not beating around the bush or letting anyone make me feel like I’m doing something wrong. I;m never talking about my problems to people again. I can’t take the judging and the shoulda coulda woulda because It just doesn’t help my cause. I’m done being worried about what anyone thinks of me or what I do.


No more hope

There are certain situations that can be resolved and there are others that can’t…I’m in that “no resolution” stage. Let me put it this way….Imagine spending years devoting your time,energy,blood,sweat,and tears (and money) into something so important to you. You did this because u were promised a reward in the end…the reward lasts for a lifetime and you are happy because you get to be a part of something so much bigger than you…and it never happens. People tried to bring you down and because of the power they have over the things you cannot control,you are stuck. The promise made to you in the beginning has been broken,no one contacts you about the reward you’ve worked so hard for and you’re left alone to watch so many people with that same reward and pleasure walk among you knowing that you should walk along beside them. So many people wished and hoped you would get this sacred part of you enhanced by this reward and there it goes,slipping beneath your feet. You did what was asked of you,you did what everyone else did AND MORE to get what you wanted and when you finished,those in control of handing you your reward disappear and you are left to watch everyone around you appreciate what you work OH SO HARD for. Months and months go by and you realized how much time and energy has gone to waste simply because promises couldnt be kept and people tried to bring you down.

Imagine that and tell me…

How would you feel??
Would you still have hope??


can’t knock me down

I feel better about my situation. I know that this will pass and that I shouldn’t make a permanent decision to a temporary trouble. It will get better and I have the facts and support to prove my case. I thank everyone who is helping me out because this girl is trying to ruin my career, but I refuse to let that happen.

Day (328) – Don’t Take It

I love this quote! it’s going up in my room next semester!

The Better Man Project ™

In this fantastic book I read a long time ago, one of the biggest lessons was to not take anything personally. The argument was, that people’s opinions, interpretations, and thoughts are purely of their own creation, and they really have nothing to do with you at all. He wasn’t arguing for stubbornness, but rather giving what comes out of other people’s mouths a pinch of concern, and then deciding what you are for yourself. If you spend your life listening to what other people think of you, then you will never ask yourself “What do I want to be?”

Now, I fully agree with his argument, but I do have a small side note that I would like to present. When you are attempting to be something, your community is one of the best mirrors you can possibly have. By community, I mean the people you come into contact with…

View original post 187 more words

Making a final decision

So… After what has happened with me and my ex boyfriend, sooner or later I’m going to have to come to a decision to stay or leave. At this point I dont know what I want to do with him. my heart is telling me to stay and my mind tells me to leave. I have a feeling I’m going to end up staying with him. Everyone makes mistakes. This just happened to result in some other things to come along. Yes it’s going to be hard, but what relationship doesn’t have its issues? I don’t want to leave him and I love him, but I think he does need a little bit or reality bopped into him and I big wake up call to know that I can’t be taken for granted and I think he’s understanding that now.




Previous Older Entries